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It was May 6, 1937, just a couple
months after this comic appeared in the March 1937 issue of Flying Aces'
"Wisecrack-ups" feature, that the namesake of the alluded-to dirigible would suffer
a fiery end to its service in ferrying passengers back and forth across the Atlantic
Ocean. Prior to that, big plans were in the works for making fortunes on luxury
travel in the relative safety of a large, inherently stable - and presumably safe
- mode of transcontinental travel. Even a switch from highly flammable hydrogen
to inert helium was not enough to assuage the flying public's concerns. Besides,
helium was rather scarce and therefore expensive at the time. The other comic is
rather funny, given the fuselages of both the aeroplane its presumptive passengers.
Otherwise, a collection of puns, jokes, and humorous conversations are included.
Some of the content's impact will be lost on a younger generation not familiar with
the situational circumstances of the era. Enjoy!
Wisecrack-Ups
Taxi in on this runway and pick up a plane load of laughs! In this department,
we present a collection of jokes, cartoons, and humorous verse. For all original
contributions which we can use here, Fling Aces will pay $1. Contributions cannot
be returned. Address all letters to Wisecrack-Ups.
A One Act Mellerdramer
Cast of characters :
"Cy Clone - a Whirlwind suitor
Sil Ender - the father, a Block Head
Scene: The yard of the Ender home
Cy: I Cam for your daughter, Magneto. Fuel agree, Oil marry her.
Sil: Take off, you Dope! I don't like your Altitude. And don't Hangar 'round
here any more.
Cy: But I came to be Ceiling our engagement.
Sil: If you Compass my threshold, I'll Throttle you and black your Beacons.
Cy: It Taxi good man to do that.
Sil: I can't be Bearing you! You'd better Drift!
"Yes, Martha. it was designed expressly for us."
Cy: All you do is Torque. I can't Bank on a thing you say.
Sil: I don't like your Map you big Balloon!
Cy: Have you no Compression? I Avigator love for her than anyone else.
Sil: I'd Rudder she'd Indicator choice.
Cy: But we'll Navigate anywhere that Air Way.
Sil: She says she's at the Zenith of her Liberty, and that's Wright.
Cy: I'm tired of your Gas! Go and Propeller out here. If she's not Radial wait
for her.
Sil: You'll never Pilot my daughter to the altar!
Cy: You Amphibian - in other words you're just a Plane liar.
Sil: You are a Crank Case - you Nut!
Cy: I'll Bomber house!
Sil: Aw, go sit on Attack!
Cy (pulling out a flask): This Air Port in this Tank. Come on Intake a drink.
Sil (taking a swig): Ah! There's lots of Horsepower!
Cy: It's High Octane. It'll make your Nose red.
Sil: I've changed my course. I'm Torsion up the sponge. You have my Manifold
blessings.
Cy: Hooray! Watch me Strut! Let's go over to the bar and Lubricate our Tensiles!
Not Up-to-Date
Modern boy: Mamma, do the angels in heaven still have wings?
Mother: Of course, dear.
Modern boy: Gee, they must be old fashioned! I thought they'd be using rockets
by now.
Page Baron Munchausen!
Two old pilots were sitting in the hangar one cold night spinning yarns.
"You know," said the first, "when I was flying up in the north woods country
one time it snowed so hard that our plane couldn't get down through it. We had to
get out of our cockpits and dig our way back to the ground. And then after the blizzard
a fog set in that was so thick that the fish lost themselves in the woods and we
had to sleep with mosquito nettings over us to keep the pollywogs out of our eyes."
"That's nothing," retorted the other. "When I was flying with the revolutionists
in Central America we had to put up with unbearable heat. One day my buddy fell
out of the back pit and plummeted down toward a river. I figured the water would
break his fall, but I'd forgotten to take into account the great rate of evaporation.
By the time he was half way down, the river was, empty."
"I suppose he was killed," said the first pilot.
"Not a bit of it," replied the second.
"One of those tropical rains suddenly came down and he landed in eighty feet
of water."
"They must have been in a hurry to be up and away."
Can't See the Point
Kerry Keen: No, Barney, there's nothing like flying high above the earth and
drinking in the fresh air!
Barney O'Dare: What's wrong with drinking in a saloon?
Of the Same Opinion
First flying student: These instructors give me a pain. They don't know a thing.
They're all dumb. Why, this school ought to get a whole new teaching staff.
Second flying student: Yeah, I flunked out, too.
All Explained
First deaf man: I hear you went for an airplane ride yesterday.
Second deaf man: Oh no. I went for an airplane ride.
First d.m.: My mistake. I thought you went for an airplane ride.
Funny That Way
Aviator: Hey there! Don't light matches near that gasoline tank!
Bystander: Oh, you fliers are so darned superstitious.
Epitaph
Shed a tear
For Pilot Scott.
He was full;
His tank was not.
Slightly Balled Up
Movie flyer: How come our parachutist went to the hospital ?
Director: It was just a misunderstanding. You see, he was supposed to climb that
crate to 25,000 ft., dive it to 3,000 ft., bail out and count ten. But instead he
got mixed up and climbed to 3,000 ft., dived ten, and counted 25,000.
Posted November 11, 2023
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